days like this

waking early in the dark to feed a sleepy baby boy
a long before-breakfast walk with a best friend, conversation in the cold to start our day
morning snuggles on the couch with girls in pajamas
blueberry bagels and cream cheese, time with my Bible as I ate
the very rare occurence of a mid-morning nap on the couch with my boy while my girls played nicely and quietly
gray skies and rain outside, cool air through the windows, autumn everywhere
schoolwork with no rush to get done as the day lay before us, unhampered by scheduled things
a few episodes of Planet Earth with lunch, which totally counted as our science
yoga pants and a sweatshirt and undone hair instead of skinny jeans and a scarf and makeup
two cups of coffee, just because it sounded good
playtime outside with a little red-haired neighbor boy
lots and lots of coloring and drawing, papers strewn across the table and floor
the happy prospect of soup and biscuits for dinner

not a perfect day-- there were many poopy diapers, moments when Bennett screamed and wouldn't be quiet, melt-downs from Rosalie, fights and squabbles between the sisters, too much mess throughout the house, things that didn't get done, moments of frustration and weariness.
the kind of day one might refer to as "perfectly imperfect".
the kind of day that makes me thankful...
...for my four little ones.
...for autumn.
...for God's goodness and graces, big and small
...for peace, and quiet, and love, and the joys in our life.
...for home.

days like this are so good for my soul.

sometimes I forget.

Sometimes, in the passing blur of each busy day, in the steady hustle and bustle of the rhythm of our lives, in the occasionally overwhelming list of "to-do" which doesn't usually include "stop and just be", I forget.

In the midst of the whining, the demanding, the rowdiness, the complaints and noise, I forget.

The discipline and challenges, the frustrations, the loss of patience and peace. The snotty noses and dirty hands, the mess which somehow can never be quite contained and sprawls across our home with determined fervor. All this and even more..... is it any wonder that I sometimes forget?

I forget how much I love being a mother.

This happens... it's simply how it is. We who are in the trenches of motherhood cannot simply revel and rejoice in mommy-ness all the time and spend each moment blissfully adoring our small charges or the job we have been given. Reality, life, those children, they demand us to dig in with our sleeves rolled up and sweat it out, to survive, to do. It's a requirement, not an option, and I will be one of the first to admit that more often than not I find myself more humbled and exhausted than uplifted and beaming at the end of a long day.

It's easy to forget.

But, praise the good Lord above, He makes it just as easy to remember. It happens when you least expect it, like a slap in the face (the good, "hey, pull it together, you can do this" kind of slap) or silently and gradually, like the morning sun stealing across a room and touching even the most commonplace things with light.

These moments that make me remember, I want to wrap them up and keep them, close and always there...

....Annabelle comes to me as I fold laundry and buries her head in my shoulder for a moment and then kisses my cheek. "Mommy, I just love you so much. And you smell good."

...From the bedroom comes crying... Rosalie has pinched her fingers. As I stoop down to kiss the boo-boo, I notice she is dressed as a ladybug in skirt and wings, her round tummy bare and her pigtails all awry. She looks at me with those sad brown eyes, tears dripping off her nose, and I can't help but scoop her in close, feeling the warmth of her skin and her small body, feeling how much she needs me.

....Emma sits on the couch reading a book to herself, when her two sisters jump up beside her, begging her to share the story. So she starts the whole book over again, reading aloud in her girlish voice while Annabelle and Rosalie draw in close beside her. Not fifteen minutes ago there was fighting and bickering, and now, they sit together. Happy, close, sharing a moment of frienship and sisterhood, these three daughters of mine. They are a wonder.

....Quietly, I open the doors and tiptoe into their bedrooms at night, to tuck blankets back around sleeping bodies and remove some of the too-many books and stuffed animals that found their way into bed. Their preciousness overwhelms me and I simply have to brush the damp curls away from their sweet faces and kiss their round cheeks.

The moments, when I really stop and think about it, are too many to be numbered. The simple things that make me look at my girls and bring me joy, they never run out. Rosalie's laugh and joyous spirit. Emma's freckles, her growing maturity and beauty. Annabelle's fluffy hair and spontaneous smile and loving heart. And there will be a fourth one of these, all his or her own person, with a whole new personality to love and discover! Wonder indeed. These young years are hard, and the trench sometimes feels deep, but what joy and blessing is found within the place to which motherhood takes us.

 I'm writing this at midnight, still awake because I'm waiting for my last load of the day's laundry to be done, and I know that morning and children and everything else will come all too soon. And I'm sure I will forget again, and I might be grumpy and snappish, impatient and tired.

But it'll be ok.
Because, just as surely, my gracious Lord will humble and help me remember. They will make me remember, and the joy and thankfulness will come back in. What reminders will He bring my way today? I don't know-- but I know, if I simply take the time to recognize them, they will sweeten each task.


I love being a mother. Oh, I do.

this is what he has to put up with.

A conversation between husband and wife on a recent Romantic Day At The Beach:

Me: "Oh look, honey. They had to close this part because the plants needed rehab."

Him: "Yes, I see that...."

Me: "No, I mean, like they had to GO TO REHAB. You know, for addiction."

Him, patiently: "Ohh, okkk.... but what were they addicted to?"

Me: "Weed."

Him: slaps forehead

Me: "oh come on, that's FUNNY."

Him, not sarcastically at all: "You're right. SO clever. How wonderful that I married a girl of such wit."

Bless his little heart.

mother's day: happy.

Here I sit, all tucked up in bed, my husband and my puppy a-sleeping peacefully beside me. I am tired, but happy. Mother's Day is almost over, and it was lovely. Simple. Quiet. Restful. My dear family, all of them, was so kind to me...They made this mama feel special.

It's a wondrous thing, being a mother. As much as my kids can drive me crazy sometimes, and as challenging as it might be, it's something I can't imagine NOT being. I'm realizing this more and more every day, as I watch my children grow and change, getting little glimpses of who they will be when they're all grown up. They fascinate me, and astound me, and I'm sometimes blown away by the fact that I get to be their mother. I'm so thankful for these three little human beings whom God sent into my world to change me, grow me, and bless me beyond measure.

 I'm also very thankful for this man, my husband, who helps me everyday in my job and loves me like no other. He's my other half, and I couldn't do it without him. And, as I discovered tonight, he makes really yummy spinach and ham in a heavenly cream sauce.

 (side note: he's awfully good-looking, cooking in the kitchen. my goodness.)

This picture of my own mother sits on our bookshelf. It's one of my favorites. Isn't she beautiful? Many years later, of course, she looks much different, but she is still beautiful... in so many ways. I can honestly say my mother is one of the most wonderful, godly, and inspiring women I know, and I am thankful for her. I am thankful for all she has done and still does for her children, for her example of serving the Lord, for her love for her family, and for the fact that she is here with us.

Yes, this mother's day was a very happy one, filled with many sweet joys. But for all that, it was a little bittersweet, for I couldn't help but think of those who were surrounded by hardship today. Yesterday, a family with eight children lost their mother, unexpectedly and suddenly. A husband lost his wife. Little children lost their grandma. It breaks my heart to think of it... Will you please pray for the DePriest family, friends? Thank you, I know they must need all the comfort and support they can get right now, and I know every prayer on their behalf will be heard.

Well, in the time that it's taken me to write this post, mother's day is now over. But still, I want to wish all you just-so-lovely-and-wonderful moms out there a happy mother's day, for I hope that you will feel loved and appreciated for all you do and find happiness in this grand work of ours every day.

To those of you who are not yet mothers but so desire to be, I hope and pray you too will get to have this joy in your life... and I so look forward to wishing you a happy mother's day, someday. :)

And to the ones who no longer have their mothers here with them, all my heart goes out to you and I pray you will find all the peace and comfort you will ever need.

rock-a-bye, rosalie

I rocked my baby to sleep tonight.

It's something that I haven't done since she was very small. Normally, she'd rather just lay in her crib, read her book, snuggle up with her stuffed animals, and go to sleep in her own time.

But tonight, we rocked.

She didn't have a nap today. Daddy was home from work, so we all went to the park this afternoon to enjoy the lovely sunshine and beautiful weather. And while her big sisters rode scooters and swung and climbed on monkey bars, Rosalie went up stairs and slid down slides, again and again and again. She ran to and fro while I chased her. She made friends with a little girl who had an Ariel bike-- Rosalie was quite fascinated by it. She played hard, with joy spilling over in her smile and her little feet always on the go.

We came home after an early dinner out, and it was bathtime. She was cheerful, sitting amidst the bubbles with Annabelle, but as I scrubbed her fingers and toes, and removed the buckets of sand from her finally-thickening hair, I could see the lack of a nap starting to take its toll.

When I rinsed out her hair, she cried.
When I took her out of the tub to dry her off, she threw a fit.
When I laid her down to put on her diaper, she rolled away from me and got mad.
When I put on her pajamas, she threw herself on the floor.
When I brushed her teeth, she cried again.
When I went to lay her down in her crib, she arched her back and hit my arms and screamed "no no no!".
It was too much, and I admit I lost patience. She was being naughty and needed discipline, regardless of how tired she was, but I spoke sharply in frustration and anger, instead of in love.

But then, we rocked.
Instead of leaving her there in her crib, turning out the light, and letting her simply go to sleep. I picked her up and took her to the rocking chair. We sat down together, and I looked in her tear-filled eyes and told her I loved her. That she needed to be a nice girl. I asked her for a hug, and she buried her head on my chest. As my arms went around her and my lips brushed her forehead, we fell into the rhythm of the chair and found peace together.

creeak creeeak creak goes the chair with each back and forth, a sound as familiar as a loved voice. Her hair smells of lavendar shampoo, her cheek feels like velvet. She sighs deeply and snuggles closer, and I relish the feel of her small form pressed into me, a part of me, mine to hold. I love the change of her weight as she draws closer to sleep, how she surrenders more fully with each passing moment. Back and forth, back and forth, creeak creeak creak, her fingers clutching her ever-present blankie and her eyes drooping lower and lower each time.
And then, she is asleep, her lashes laying long and dark against her cheek, her lips a perfect pout, and even though I could lay her down, I don't. I hold her for a little while longer and simply cherish the fact that she is small and not-quite-two, still able to fall into dreams in her mother's arms.

This child, she can be a handful. She challenges me. Wears me out and drives me to distraction sometimes.
But tonight... tonight, she was just my baby that I rocked to sleep.

Tucked away.

I was looking through some of the many un-published and un-finished posts sitting in my draft box last night, and just so happened to come across this one, written in November 2009 (not quite sure why I didn't just post it then...). At first, I wasn't going to publish it until the season seemed more appropriate... but upon further thought, I realized that thoughts of cool winter days, holiday joy, and glimpses of peacefulness might be just the thing someone might find lovely to read on a hot August day. Enjoy. :)
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As I write, it is November 30th. However, in a matter of just two hours, it will be December. December. As much as I love and look forward to this time of year, I can hardly believe it is actually here. And if I could, I would grab time firmly and tell it, with no uncertain tone, to slow down, already! Considering how quickly November whizzed right on by, I can only assume that December will fly by at an altogether impossible speed.

Sometimes, between school, piano students, housework, projects, three children, going to the gym, church activities, errands, Christmas decorating and shopping, and all the other little ins and outs of daily life it is hard to catch my breath. I will admit that I get stressed and overwhelmed. I get snappy and grumpy. Boo.

But what I dislike the most about all this busy-ness paired with time's fleeting tendencies is that I start to feel like things are escaping me. Little, but oh-so-important things. Things that I want to remember. But alas, I have neither the time nor the ability to capture those moments in beautiful photographs (this would explain my sad lack of blogging).

And so, I find myself storing up these gems of a moment, tucking them away in my mind's eye, a mental snapshot of a time or a place or a face.

We all cuddle on the couch under one big fuzzy blanket and watch Elf. Annabelle especially seems delighted with Buddy's antics and she giggles and giggles and giggles. Her face is alight, her nose crinkled up with her grin that reaches into her eyes and beyond. Golden hair in wispy curls brushes my face as I laugh with her, this delighted daughter of mine.

Emma presses the button on the bottom of the little white piano ornament and tinkly music plays. Arms stretched out, she dances, her very own brand of ballet. She twirls and twirls until the music stops, and then she presses it again. And again. And again. Dancing and dancing, not caring that it's always the same song or that the living room is scattered with toys.

My husband grabs me and hugs me for a moment as I flit from room to room, moving from task to task. We linger, my head on his chest, and I breathe in the smell of his cologne and relish the feel of his arms around me.

It is early morning, and I am driving home from the gym. Ahead of me I see the mountains, hazy and shadowy in the cold light of dawn. Mists lay across the fields, wispy and white. Everything is in shades of gray and purple, soft and still before the sunshine wakes the scene. It is so peaceful, so quiet-like, so rare and beautiful. "Be still, and know that I am God" comes to my mind.

Rosalie pulls herself up on one of the bins of Christmas decorations and grabs at a branch of golden berries. As she catches my eye, she grins like she just accomplished a wonderful feat, like she knows she shouldn't mess, but oh wow does she feel like a big girl! I can't resist that smile or her happy bounce, so I scoop her up and she giggles.

I am awoken by two tousle-haired girls on a cold morning. Which, of course, calls for cuddles in bed, even if briefly since there is a baby needing to be changed in the next room. We squeeze together close, their little figures warm and soothing, our legs and arms all tangled and criss-crossed under the thick comforter.

As Rosalie drinks her morning bottle I wrap us in a blanket and sit on the couch, just to hold her close to me. Her head rests against my chest, and I drink her baby-ness in. Her long dark lashes, her perfectly round and ever-fuzzier head, her dimpled chubby hands as they eagerly grasp her bottle. I think I could keep her warm little self there on my lap, cuddled up with me, forever.

Tucked away, all of them, these beautiful scenes from this beautiful life. Tucked away, safe and cherished for always.

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I'm so glad I found this in my draft box. It was like a cool little spritz of joy and refreshment in this hot and busy week. Such precious memories, all of these...

Thirty Things.

Today is my husband's 30th birthday. That's right, the big three-oh. Now I shall mercilessly tease him about how OLD he is. (I'm allowed to do that, since I'm still 26, right?)
But, merciless teasing aside, I love him. Oh, so much. And here are just a few of the reasons why (in no particular order).
A List of Thirty Things I Love
about this man right here. 

(this picture is over a year old... you'd think I'd find a more recent one. But I just like this one so much. photo credit Lorie Chambless.)

1. He's really, really handsome. (see above photo)
2. He likes food as much as I do. GOOD food. We love to eat together!
3. He puts up with my incredibly corny sense of humor.
4. Sometimes, he even laughs!
5. He helped me make some very adorable babies.
6. And, he is an AMAZING daddy to those three adorable girls of ours.
7. His hugs. He just wraps me up and holds me close, and I could stay there forever.
8. He lets me snuggle with him in bed, even when he's asleep. I do so love to snuggle.
9. His own sense of humor can be rather... corny. Maybe that's why he puts up with mine?
10. His passion for music.
11. His passion for God and Scripture and the church.
12. His passion for good wine.
13. His passion for me. :)
14. He likes the Harry Potter books as much as I do. We're nerds. But at least we're nerds together.
15. His thick, curly hair. That was actually one of the very first things I noticed about him when we met!
16. He's awfully cute when he plays the drums. And he's very, very good at it too!
17. Speaking of drums... his timing. Thank goodness I married a drummer. My own timing stinks, and quite often you can hear me asking him to help me get it right when I'm practicing piano for something.
18. He's so affectionate with Emma, Annabelle, and Rosalie. Lots of hugs, kisses, and cuddles are given on a daily basis...He truly enjoys doting on his girls. I think that's so important for daughters.
19. We can be delightfully and whole-heartedly silly together.
20. He doesn't judge me, no matter how crazy/odd/weird/silly I can be. 
21. His faith and his trust in God touches and shapes every area of his life.
22. And thus, he is a great example to me, and others.
23. He loves all our family- moms, dads, brothers, sisters, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews- so much, and so well.
24. His boyish charm.
25. If we ever have computer issues, he can fix them in a jiffy. Computer-savvy AND sexy?? What a combo!
26. His voice. It still gives me butterflies sometimes.
27. His laugh. When I hear him laugh, it makes me happy. My favorite? When we're laughing together.
28. He works hard to provide for us. And he never complains about it.
29. He chose me. Further, he continues to choose me, out of every other person in the world, every single day. How amazing is that?
30. He's mine. We're meant to be together. He's my guy, and I'm his girl, and it'll always be that way as long as we both shall live.

This list could go on and on... and I know I'll only add to it as we spend his next 30 years together, Lord willing.

Happy 30th Birthday, my beloved.

"she said yes!"

I wasn't really planning on writing a post about our trip to Rock Springs (I posted all my pictures to facebook... that's good enough, right?), but then it occurred to me that in not doing so, I would neglect to mention some news here on my blog.
News of a very lovely and wonderful sort!
You see, while we were there (on Friday afternoon, June 25, to be exact) THIS happened:





Yes, that is an engagement ring on my little sister Jerusha's finger! Her boyfriend, Christopher, proposed! (These pictures were taken after the fact. Since none of us were in the room for the actual proposal, they were kind enough to re-enact it for us. hehe)
I was SO happy and absolutely thrilled that it all took place while we were there. The hard part about being far away from family is not getting to be there for some of the biggest moments, the times when you just want to cry or jump and down together, hug and squeal and see the smiles shining on everyone's faces. So the fact that I was able to be there to celebrate with my sister and everyone else only moments after she had said "Yes!" was nothing short of amazing.

My other sister Lydia and I were in cahoots with Chris all day Friday, helping him to surprise Jerusha and getting everything in place for the big moment. It was so much fun, and we discovered that we are both very adept at lying. (but don't worry, we promise not to use this talent for any ill or evil purposes.) She had NO CLUE this was all happening, which it made it that much more wonderful.


Chris' proposal to her was sweet and simple and meaningful, involving hand-made storybooks he wrote and the romantic set-up in the first picture. I'm sure Jerusha will remember it for always. He made it perfect.

And how about that ring?! Gorgeous!! Good job, Chris!


Lovely sister, I am so happy for you and pray for God's biggest blessings on this time before your marriage, as you get ready to be a wife to the man you love.

Congratulations, Chris and Jerusha, you happy adorable couple, you.

(I can hardly wait for your wedding. Whee!!)

props to my honey for the great pictures. :)

the unplanned absence.

Well, hello there. Remember me? Sometimes I blog. And other times.... not so much. This has been one of those times. Really, I didn't even plan to take so much time away from the internet. It just sort of happened... and you know what? It was nice. I enjoyed not getting on facebook all the time, not checking into my google reader (which, by the way, is out of control. eeeeep) each day, not saying to myself "I need to blog, it's been too long!!".

Instead, I hung out on our patio with my family in the morning sunshine, eating breakfast and watching Rosalie toddle around while Emma and Annabelle swung happily.

I stayed up way too late each night having copious amounts of fun and got up way too early, thanks to a certain one-year-old who does not understand sleeping in.

I went to the beach with my mom and sisters and my girls where we played on the beach all day and ate ice cream.

I baked cinnamon rolls, and cookies, and made tiramisu, and generally consumed more desserts than anyone really should.

I celebrated Mother's Day with my very own mother, and my sister's birthday with her, for the first time in years.

I discovered that yes, you can in fact fit 13 people under one small roof, and it's actually quite a lot of fun.

I threw an Italian dinner party for my Lydia's 20th birthday, complete with incredible amounts of pasta and bread (mmmm), a backyard that looked rather magical, and wonderful friends and family.

I learned a lot about healthy eating from my ever-amazing mom. (Yes, I realize this conflicts with the cinnamon rolls and cookies and tiramisu. I didn't say I actually applied it.... yet)

I went grocery shopping. A lot. Turns out lots of people will eat lots of food! who knew!

I was silly and goofy and laughed every single day.

I danced to Glee, all of us in the living room jumping up and down and singing our little hearts out.

I planned a recital for my 8 piano students, and now I am eagerly and happily awaiting Tuesday night when I can officially burst with pride for these young people I get to teach.

I made new friends. One can never know too many lovely people.

I cut ten inches off my hair (and Emma's too!).

I watched my children get to be with their aunties and uncle and their grandma and grandpa every single day,

.... and there is much much more that has filled these past weeks, things that fill my heart with thankfulness and make me smile. To sum up, it has been an incredibly busy (and exhausting, but in the best way) and thoroughly enjoyable, oh-so-blessed couple of weeks.

My house seems rather empty, and I very much miss our dear ones already. But I am glad to be here again, and ready to get back into life as normal... which, come to think of it, can be quite a lovely thing too!

{insert happy sigh here}

Because that's what I do everytime I look at these pictures and think about our anniversary get-away (which was now over two weeks ago). I sigh. Happily. I'm just going to warn you right now: if you don't like ridiculously cheerful blog posts, then read no further. Because I'm about to get really warm and fuzzy up in here.

I'm just sayin'.

On the morning of our anniversary (April 5), I did what I always like to do on our anniversary. I looked at the clock and thought "Exactly 7 years ago at this time, I was....". It's cheesy. And sappy. But I love to look back on our wedding day and try to recapture those feelings and that excitement again. :) It wasn't hard to capture that excitement this morning, because we were out of there and on the road as soon as we dropped off our kids off at Auntie Jessica's (she's a sweetheart. We love her).

As we drove further and further out of Bakersfield, just the two of us in Jeremy's truck with our bikes bouncing around in the back, the view out the window was making me giddy. Blue skies, huge fluffy clouds, rolling green hills, patches of wildflowers... It was tantalizing.







We arrived in Paso Robles just in time for lunch, which we had at a yummy little cafe downtown. (I really wish I would have taken pictures of all the good food we ate, because oh my yum, I still salivate when I think about it all.) We sat there and just enjoyed our food and each other's good company... I always notice that we so easily and completely slip into "date mode" when we're not with our children. Hand-holding, smooching, talking about everything and anything freely (with no interruptions!), just being a couple. Not parents. Not people with tons of work to do and a million different things going on in their lives. Just two people in love without a care in the world. (see? I warned you. WARM AND FUZZY.)

After lunch we wandered around downtown for a bit, visited an antique store (I'm so grateful to have a husband who shares some of my love for old things), and picked up a few pamphlets on the different wineries in the area so we could make our plan for the afternoon. We knew we wanted to go wine tasting, but the problem was choosing where-- there are SO many wineries around Paso Robles! After much deliberation, we decided to drive out a little way and visit Justin Vineyards. I am so glad we did, because it was absolutely beautiful and the wine was amazing-- not to mention they had two adorable doggies who lived there. The basset hound laid himself right at my feet while I sipped my wine.

(this picture is from their website because I am lame and forgot to take any pictures at the actual winery. Boo.)

Apart from the fact that I loved Justin winery, I'm so glad we decided to take that drive out there just for the drive itself. It was... well, it was beyond gorgeous and picturesque. Since it was just a little two-lane road and there weren't too many places to pull over (and even if we had there was barbed wire on both sides of the road), we didn't get any pictures of the actual drive out there. But I can still picture it all in my head, because I was drinking it in the whole time.

Grass that looked like rich green velvet, overshadowed by gracefully aging trees draped in delicate moss. Nooks of dappled sunshine, lacy and dancing through the trees onto the ground below. Fallen logs that used to be trees, trees that must have had a story to tell from their long lives, now reposing on their couches of woodland grass. A creek that meandered alongside the road, its banks dripping with peaceful green, its bed merry and vibrant with water running over its stony bottom... oh, to follow it, and see where it did wander. And then, as we come over a hill, before us are open fields, rolling and sloping, dotted with trees and sprinkled with wildflowers of lavendar and yellow. And behind it all, the mountains, gentle and grand, soft and shadowy in the afternoon sun. They wore a crown of enormously fluffy white clouds, a crown forever changing and moving, drifting lazily along through the blue, blue, blue sky. Perfection. I'm almost positive that the very air itself was scented with sunshine and loveliness, with just a hint of grapes and wild abandon.

When we came out of Justin from tasting our wine, that wild abandon got the best of us and we left our truck in their parking lot, hopped on our bikes, and rode up the road a little ways. Now, the only reason we went only a little ways (because I could have stayed out there for a very long time) was because we were going downhill the whole time. And guess what happens when you're going downhill? At some point, you have to turn around and go UPHILL. The whole way. So, we reigned ourselves in and turned around while we could still make it back alive. But not before we took a few pictures, of course.




These shots are so cheesy and posed. "Hey, let's stand in those plants over there and take pictures of each other! The background is soooo pretty." What can I say. I love them anyway. :)






Oh, I want to be here again...


The rest of our afternoon was spent driving around  from winery to winery, just taking our sweet time. We were able to visit three other places, and it was so incredibly relaxing and wonderful. Of course, all the wine-tasting probably helped with the relaxing... hehe.

When we had reached our fill of wineries, we headed back into Paso so we could check into our hotel and get ready for our "fancy dinner". We've sort of made it a tradition to splurge and go out to a really nice restaurant on our anniversary. I was particularly excited about going out on this night, because I had bought something recently that I'd always wanted: a Little Black Dress. ($30 at Marshall's. Totally worth it.) Also, look! High heels! I NEVER wear heels that high. Two hours later when I couldn't feel my toes I realized why... but again, it was worth it. :)


It was so much fun taking my time and primping for my hot date with my husband.

Why, hello there, stud, can I get your number? *wink*

Our restaurant of choice this time was Matthew's, a tiny little place recommended to us. It was perfect. Soft, glowing, romantic atmoshphere, twinkly lights, cozy seating, long-stemmed roses on the tables, candlelight.... and the food. Oh, the food. It was exquisite and delicious. For example, here is our dessert: espresso creme brulee in a chocolate bowl with chocolate-hazelnut ice cream. This picture does not do it justice, and I couldn't describe to you how good it tasted if I tried. I still dream about it sometimes...

(just kidding. But seriously, SO GOOD.)


Our sweet little waitress (it was her first night there and she was so anxious to do everything just perfectly, so eager to please) was kind enough to take our picture.


When we had dined and talked to our heart's content (we were the last ones there!), it was "home" to our hotel room and to cozy up in bed. We slept in a bit the next morning (oh, bliss), had a delish and hearty cafe breakfast, and then rode our bikes around downtown, visiting another antique store (one of the cutest I've ever seen) and this amazing craft store/boutique/gallery.

And then, time to go home.


I pouted.

But, I was excited to go home and see our girls, and I couldn't have been more thankful for the lovely time away we had. It was so needed, so appreciated, such a blessing, and so absolutely perfect for the two of us. Adventures with Jeremy are always some of my favorite things... and I already can't wait for the next one I get to have with him, whatever it may be.

I had to end with the bend in the road... I find a bend in the road so wondrous and mystifying, so alluring...

Happy Easter to you, happy anniversary to us.

Hi, remember me? sometimes I blog here? yes, that's right... the one who got on a major crafting/project-ing/gardening kick before I hosted Easter lunch here at our house today and pretty much abandoned the internet world. And I'm not going to lie, I enjoyed it. The days have been filled with work, work, and more work, but it's the kind that I enjoy, the kind that leaves me blissfully tired and accomplished-feeling when I finally crawl into bed at midnight (or later). It's a nice feeling to make things lovely, and to know you are doing so in preparation for the ones you love. And today was just wonderful: celebrating the glorious resurrection of Christ, delicious food, family, pretty dresses and table settings, happy children playing outside, and oh, yes, a little one-year-old girl who decided to take her first steps! While everyone was here and cheering her on! We were all quite thrilled. And guess what, it's on video, so... you can all see it too! But, that is a post for another day. (I have some serious catch-up blogging to do. SERIOUSLY.)

I am definitely tired tonight, and ready for some rest. And wouldn't you know, that is exactly what I have to look forward to tomorrow. Because...
tomorrow, Monday, is Jeremy's and my 7th anniversary. And we are leaving our children behind and headed off to wine country, where we shall wine and dine, ride bikes, and who knows what else. The day is ours! (and the night too, but this is a family blog. hehehehe) Just me and my honey. Together, alone, all day long. To say I am looking forward to all this would be an understatement. I am excited. Nay, ECSTATIC.

Seven years. I can hardly believe it's been that long since we were married. But then again, so much has happened in the last 7 years that in some ways it seems like it should have been longer.


I'll save the lovey-dovey stuff for my husband tomorrow as we're traipsing through wine country. But I will say that I honestly love my Jeremy more and more with each year that passes. We have learned how to love each other even when we drive each other crazy and upset one another (because no one is perfect, which means marriage NEVER is). We make each other laugh, and we're each other's favorite person. We're learning together how to navigate, by God's grace, through the ups and downs of life. I am so thankful that the good Lord brought us together and made us for each other. I love being married to this man. (ok, that  may have been just a bit lovey-dovey. Sincerest apologies.)

Seven years, and, I am happy to report, there's not an itch in sight!


Have a great week, dear friends. Be back again soon. Cheers! :)

Plan B.

It's what you resort to when Plan A doesn't work. And that's where we're at right now. Plan B.

My mom had another MRI today, one which, quite frankly, we were all hoping and expecting would look really good... maybe even clear! But, as it turns out, that's not what happened. Instead, the MRI showed that her tumor has grown back. I'm not sure on exactly how much, but something like 60% of its original size.

Not good. Scary. It's grown back that much just since her last MRI... which was only around a month ago.

This means the chemo she's been getting for the last two months isn't working anymore, apparently. So. Plan B.

Plan B is full-brain radiation, once a day 5 days a week. And possibly oral chemo with this as well. Plan B means my mom will lose her hair, experience extreme fatigue, and who knows what else. Plan B means that this road, which we all thought just maybe had an end in sight, is going to be much harder and longer than we anticipated.

The doctor is still reasonably positive. He says this by no means indicates that treatment won't be successful. He's seen this before, and it just means it's time for another plan of attack. But....

Plan B scares me. One plan of treatment has already been tried... and it didn't work. So what happens if Plan B doesn't work? Is there a plan C? Or.... is there an or?? or..... is that it?? what if, what if what if???

The one thing I've been clinging to in my head today is this: God doesn't have a Plan B. He just has THE plan. HIS plan. His perfect, unchanging, almighty, loving plan. It's already laid out. He already knows. And it won't change. NO plan B. The next step might be OUR plan B, but it's still HIS original and providential plan. Amen. The truth. Praise God for that.

I know tomorrow is a brand new day, with the Lord's new mercies, a fresh new perspective, and tomorrow I'll probably be able to think positive again, by His grace.

But today, my heart is just aching. For my mom, my dear sweet mom, who has so much more to go through still when she's already been through so much. For my dad, who has to watch the love of his life experience all this. For my sisters and my brother who are right there living it everyday and just as scared as I am. For all my family. My heart aches and breaks. For so many different reasons.

I know I'm just pouring this all out here. Through my tears. And maybe I shouldn't.... I don't know. But in some way it helps to write this all down, to just be honest and painfully real. This is hard. And I'm scared. And I just want, with all my heart, with every breath in every prayer, for my mom to be ok.

a post-Valentine's post.

Hello, my lovely and oh-so-patient (I hope... you're still out there, right??) readers!! I'm officially back in the blogging world, having returned home on Friday from our wonderful week-long trip to Denver. And of course, I have many pictures and stories to share with you all from that, but I find it's taking me a while to sort through the pictures and edit some of them, etc., get them ready for posting (pleasedon'tbemad,Lydia)... so, in the meanwhile, I thought I'd share these valentine pictures that I already had ready to go but didn't get a chance to post before I left.

Valentine's Day came and went SO quickly this year, it seemed (probably due to the fact that I was getting ready to leave later that week), but we did actually spend a fair amount of time in the midst of paper and hearts, our fingers sticky with glue and glitter on our noses. It was bliss. Making valentines is one of my favorite things to do, and thankfully, my girls feel the same way about it. We had Auntie Jessica and cousins Faith and Jason over one afternoon so we could all make them together, and it was so much fun that we decided it must be a valentine tradition. And so it shall be!

Emma's Valentines:

Annabelle's:

Oh, so cute. I love them all! They simply loved handing them out to all their friends and family.

While I didn't make very many valentines this year (mostly just for my moms and sisters), I did put together a little something for my husband (after all, he is My Valentine). I must tell you, I got the idea for this from the sweet and amazingly-talented-and-creative Danni from oh, hello friend . Ever since I saw her "envelope book" that she made for her now-fiancee Nicholas, I've wanted to do something similar. It was just the sweetest thing. Granted, mine is completely different from hers and not nearly as clever, but I'm so glad I was able to borrow from her lovely idea and use it to make something special for my honey. Thanks for the inspiration, Danni!

So, here it is: Jeremy's Love Book.


I used the lined page to write him a love note... but took the pictures before I did that. You're welcome. ;)




Jeremy loves to read in bed before falling asleep, so I tucked in a bookmark he can use

That's an old brown heart button on the right page. I do love buttons.



My nod to Danni: the black flowers and blue lace are cut off a business card of hers.

What could be hiding in that pocket....?

Oh, look! It's movie gift certificates! I guess this means a certain someone will be taking me on a date to see Alice in Wonderland. (don't worry, he really wants to go too.)
Space for another love note. Because one can never have too many love notes.


it's silly and romantic and sappy and lovey-dovey... which is exactly what I wanted it to be. :) (We all need those things or moments in our life that serve no other purpose than to simply be foolishly and unguardedly romantic, don't you think?). I hope you all had a sweet Valentine's Day this year. What were the gestures, be they grand or small, that made you smile and feel especially loved?