Written.

Last week, I bought myself a new journal from Target. It is pretty and pink, bound in a poppy-printed cover, and the fact that it's so pretty gives me great satisfaction (I have a seriousness weakness for journals and notebooks.) But even more exciting and wonderful to me is how thick it is with lined and blank pages. Just as if it is waiting for the words and thoughts to be poured out upon its pages. A space for my head and heart to speak, if only to myself and for remembrance's sake.


Since my pretty pink poppy journal entered my life one week ago, I have discovered how much I've missed really journaling. It's been so long since I've picked up a pen and written just to write, since I've truly taken the time to record thoughts and concerns, praises and prayers, what my life in a certain moment is like and what it brings to my mind. I needed this journal, and the space to write. I was shocked to realize today that I've filled nearly 30 pages already-- which would also explain why I keep going to bed far too late. The days and their busy-ness don't exactly lend themselves to time to write... so I stay awake long past when I should, my pen flying across the page, the words practically writing themselves, illumined by the light of my bedside lamp in the stillness of a house where all others are sleeping.

The other night, I wrote these words upon the page:
"I am so glad, so grateful, that it is my God, our heavenly Father, who is writing this story... This time is a chapter in it, and with Him as the Author, I need not worry or be afraid."

I've thought a lot about this truth in the past few days. I love to think about it, because it is a wonderful truth. A comforting thought.

In Jeremiah 29, the Lord declares "I know the plans I have for you."
In Hebrews 12, Jesus is called the "author and finisher of our faith."

Not only does He know what twists and turns each story, each life, will take... but He is the finisher. Our story is already written, and He is in it until the end. It continues day by day, each page covered with the fingerprints of grace and love, already written by Someone whose goodness towards us abounds, even when the plot might take a difficult turn or two.

It is already written. He knows the story, even when I don't, even if life and what comes next is breathtakingly unexpected. He's written it for me, for my husband, for my children, for the ones I love, for all of us.

And what a Writer He is. My own words are feeble and imperfect, my thoughts so unsure and jumbled... surely this blog post itself can attest to that.

But not God. His handwriting across our lives is more lovely than any scribe's, its content more pure and perfect than any sonnet could ever be.

I'm going to keep writing in my pink journal. And as I write, I will think, gladly, on the Author who is responsible for each new chapter in this life that we live.

The pages keep turning, the story keeps unfolding, and I know as certainly as spring will follow winter, that because He has written it, the end will be beautiful.

"with Him as the author, we need not worry or be afraid."
For this, my heart is thankful... beyond what words can write.

in this moment too, you are blessed.

I woke this morning in the dim light of an overcast day to a small child crawling into my bed and a puppy excitedly greeting her. My first thought was "too early!"...sleep has been scarce of late. Not because it evades me, oh no. When my head hits the pillow, I am away to dreamland. But when your head hits the pillow in the wee hours of the morning, the moment for waking always comes too soon.

Even still, waking can be sweet, when the things that greet you are beloved. My husband, up for work and smelling deliciously of cologne (just one more hug, darling, I want to breathe you in and melt a little more). Fall, which has suddenly appeared in gray and beautiful glory. That puppy, tail wagging in pure unadulterated joy. That small child, willing to cuddle with me in my still-sleepy state. A new day.

I'm glad for the chill in the air, finally, and I pull on over my bare legs the new polka-dotted knee socks my dear friend gave me. Rosalie laughs. "Yook, mommy, poke-a-dots! You silly, mommy." Silly? me? never.


Emma and Annabelle are up by this time, and our day truly begins. Breakfast, clothes, teeth-brushing, piano-practicing, a quick shower for me, bible and prayer time, and we settle in for school. As we work, gathered around the kitchen table, a breeze and the scent of rain to come blowing in through the open window, curly heads bent over books and crayons, I am struck by how grateful I feel. This morning has nothing "big" in it, no moment that would stand out to anyone else, no spectacular revelations. Just a steady realization all over again of these simple and astounding everyday gifts that are mine; a quiet joy to be found in the ways God has blessed me, in the graces of our commonly extraordinary lives.

I brush Annabelle's hair out of her eyes and take a sip of the tea that warms my hand. The drops dot the window as the rain begins to fall, calm and steady and beautiful, like the thankfulness that fills my heart and puts this smile on my face.

"how precious is Your loving-kindness, O God!... in Your light, we see light."
from psalm 36

i love

these verses.


This little notecard I wrote to myself hangs on our refrigerator right now. So much amazing instruction, all in one passage. Instruction and wisdom that I know it will do me good to see, everyday. These verses convict, humble, and inspire me-- the Lord has really been using them to speak to my heart lately.

And now, I must go rescue my one-year-old from eating an old bread crust that she managed to find somewhere. How does she do that??

hi, I solemnly promise that my next post will have pictures of actual people or places, instead of just my handwriting (which I'm sure must thrill you all to no end. right???). Life: It's busy. The blog: It's suffering.

these are a few of my favorite things

a cheery new flowery tablecloth to brighten the kitchen

long walks and even longer conversations with a dear best friend

teal nail polish

my new Liberty of London top (I also got this one. They were on clearance! happy happy!)

thanks for taking my picture, Emma Joy

this verse:
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong, and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

and this one:
"Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life." Proverbs 4:23

Running to Muse's new album

this silly little girl and her new phase of funny faces and attitudes. She's a hoot.


wonderful friends who have birthdays and invite you to a swanky hotel to party till midnight (till midnight? who are these wild people?? I hardly knew us.)

egg/salsa/avocado wraps for lunch

new piano books

picking rose buds from my garden and then watching them bloom on my kitchen table

what are a few of your favorite things these days, my dears?

forgive me, I realize this is a cop-out post, something to fill the space ... but I'm really busy this week getting ready for my mom and sisters to come on Thursday. whee!! :)

our hearts are trusting in the Lord

If you are my friend on facebook, you most likely already know that on Saturday my mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Well, we don't know too much more than that so far even yet, as the results of her MRI are not yet known, but we're still just praying and hoping with all our hearts that it is benign and easily removed.

In the meanwhile, she is most likely going to be having surgery tomorrow (tuesday) sometime, so Jeremy and I are flying out this afternoon from Bakersfield so that we can be there no matter what happens. We leave for the airport at 2:30, and this all came to pass only about an hour ago, so as you can imagine I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off and trying desperately to get everything ready in time. The kids will be staying here with Jeremy's mom, who has been simply amazing and was able to take some time off work to be with them.

I don't have time to go into the whirlwind of emotions and the thoughts that have gone through all our heads since finding out this news of my very own mother, but it has been hard. I cannot wait to be there with my family and hug them one and all.

Even in the midst of it all, I am thankful. Thankful for the amazing support and love that my mom and dad and all of us have been shown in this all, thankful for the MANY many prayers that have been lifted up on her behalf, thankful for the WONDERFUL people we are all blessed with in our life, including all of you. And most of all I am thankful that we can trust in our gracious God for EVERYTHING that we need, even in a dark time, and for the fact that He already knows every outcome and always cares for His loved ones, no matter what. Thankful for the peace that passes all understanding, and for His perfect will, for His comfort and His grace when we need it most.

After hearing the news I opened my Bible at random and this was literally the first passage my eyes saw:
"Unto the upright there arises light in the darkness; He is gracious and full of compassion, and righteous... surely the righteous will never be shaken; They will be in everlasting remembrance. he will not be afraid of evil tidings, his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is established, he will not be afraid." from Psalm 112:4,6-8

Amazing. I am thankful for THAT.

I'll keep you all posted as much as I can... meanwhile, keep us all, especially my mom, in your thoughts and prayers. It means SO much.

Love.

morning snapshots

lessed be the Lord who daily loads us with benefits, the God of our salvation!
~Psalm 68:19




He doesn't just toss us a little bit of blessing every now and then.
He LOADS us with benefits.
Daily.
Blessed be the Lord.

How wonderful to think that there are good and beautiful things in every single day, no matter what.
I hope you can find, and enjoy, many of them today.

good morning, dear ones!!