er.... hellooooo!!!

*nothing but empty echoes* 

*tumbleweeds blow by* 

*thick dust covers everything* 

*there is a family of mice nesting in the corner* 

Well, anyway, you get the idea. Hi. It's been a while.

Almost four months since I last blogged! 

This was not intentional. It never is.

It just... happens.

So much has happened in the last few months that when I look back on the last time I blogged it seems like ages ago, a completely different season of life.

December came with all it's usual craziness and hecticity (if that's not a word, it should be. I'm going with it.); the kids and I changed churches, leaving the one I had gone to for almost 13 years, the one where they were all baptized, where Jeremy and I met and were married; the holidays came and went but in a very different way... I can't even really explain it; family came and stayed with us and more busy-ness (wonderful as it was) ensued; there was sickness and teething and sleepless nights; birthdays galore happened; school fell by the wayside in the midst of all this and I started to feel very behind and very exhausted and overwhelmed; and then, just when we were starting to get back into a normal routine and figure life out again, we found a house to rent, packed up six-and-a-half years worth of stuff in two weeks and moved into a new place. And here we are, a month after that move, still working on getting settled but grateful to be where we are-- in more ways than one.

Whew.

So many life-changing things squeezed into such a short amount of time. I realize there's not a lot of detail in there, and it's the barest bones description of those happenings that I could possibly give you-- when really, some of those things could be a lengthy blog post all their own. 

I think that's one reason I've shied away from blogging. Sometimes, I'm not sure what to share. Obviously, there are things about my life that I choose not to talk about on here, just as we all do, for whatever our own personal reasons may be. That's ok. But sometimes it stunts our ability to share anything at all. It's hard to find the balance. That line between being honest and real, and over-sharing possibly to the detriment of others is a fine one. I'm not sure I always know how to walk it.

I've also struggled with why I still want to blog. Why should I even write posts? In the blogging world everyone has a niche, it seems. What's mine?

Fashion? ha!

Cooking and baking? Maybe once upon a time. But nowadays if I make the time to cook and bake (which I still love to do), I'm darn well not going to have the time to blog about it too!

Crafts? ha, I say, again!

Decorating, cleaning, and organizing tips? why, do YOU have some? I'll take them, please. I need all the help I can get.

Eating healthy? Exercising? This one gets a double ha. HA! HA!

Homeschooling? I'm doing my best. I still love it. But I'm not exactly poised to inspire anyone to greatness in this area.

I don't have an Etsy shop. My pictures are nothing by which to be amazed (they're literally all phone pictures these days. Not even kidding.) I haven't read any wonderful life-changing books lately that I can share with you all. I'm not one of those moms who has the gift for writing just the right post that every other mom needed to read. I'm not even especially eloquent these days. 

I was thinking about all of these things, and here is where I realized that what was standing in my way was pride. I never would have said this in so many words, and I probably really didn't even think it this way, but essentially this is what my attitude toward blogging had become:

"If I can't write or share something that will be considered cool, or awesome, or inspiring, or creative, or {insert great adjective here} then I guess I just won't bother at all."

And I'm not going to lie, I'd love for people to love my posts. Why share things in a public place at all if you don't want it to be seen and enjoyed and become a part of someone else? I like the community, connection, and camaraderie that things like facebook, instagram, and blogging have as a part of them. It's special to me. And who doesn't like knowing  that the people you admire also admire you?

But I want to blog for reasons other than those. I want to share things in this space because when I do, a part of my life and the life of my family is put down in words and pictures, and that is a precious thing. In looking back through some of my archives, I realized that there are moments I wrote about that, had I not put them here, they would be lost forever. Forgotten. I can't let go of that and quit capturing things here in this place. 

So that is what I will do. I will write from the place of who I am, which is quite simply a wife who loves her husband, even when marriage is messy and hard.

A folder of laundry, a doer of endless mind-numbing chores, and someone who sometimes binges on too much tv.

A woman who loves my home and wants to make it as lovely a place as I can for my beloved family and friends. Someone who will share that home with others even if there are graham cracker crumbs on the couch, dishes on the counter, and spots on the floor.

Someone who will sometimes make pancakes for dinner at 7:30 at night because it's been one of those days, and will feel no shame, because a proper healthy home-cooked meal is just not always in the cards.

A mommy who doesn't always have it together, barely gets by on some days, messes up from time to time, gets weary and discouraged, and feels in over her head sometimes. A mommy who needs grace every single day.  A mommy who loves her four kids more than words can even say and cherishes that she gets to be with them, even on the very worst day.

Someone who wants to share moments and memories like these: our first fire in our new home and the cozy peace it brought as they all sat in front of the fireplace. We ate sandwiches and popcorn for dinner on a blanket, and then they all brought pillows and books to read while Bennett made sure we all knew, again and again, that the fire was "hot. hot. hot." as he pointed with his little fingers.

These are the days. I will do my best to make sure they are never forgotten. And if God uses this little life of mine to inspire or bring joy to someone else along the way, well then, wonderful. I hope and pray He does. 

Either way, I still know I'll smile when I read these posts and see these pictures someday. 

it's all fun and games until someone poops in the tub.

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to be a great mom when things are great?

I'm an amazing mom when my kids are well-behaved and our day goes exactly as planned. I smile, I laugh, I have joy, I'm bubbly. I amuse my children with songs and stories and silliness and sometimes even a well-planned craft. We get along famously, a happy, albeit sometimes ragtag because even on the best of days hair isn't always combed or pajamas aren't always lost, bunch. I go from one task to the next with a nice little rhythm all my own, and I can't help but feel how much I love, JUST LOVE, being a mom. It's awesome, people, simply awesome. Super-mom high five!

That's a nice little word picture, isn't it? Are you wondering why I wrote this blog post if I was just going to toot my own horn? Welllll........

Hang on, friends. It's about to take a turn towards the ugly.

Let's get real. How often does our day go exactly as planned? How often are all of my children well-behaved at the very same time and we are living in perfect harmony? How often do I not get interrupted when trying to accomplish something, even if it's just trying to go to the bathroom by myself? How many times do I feel completely on top of it, "it" being house, kids, schoolwork, projects, errands, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. (too many? Just making a point. I may have gotten carried away.)

These are all rhetorical questions, and I'm sure you can guess the answer to each one: Hardly ever, if at all. 

That's normal, I'm pretty sure. (raise your hand if you feel the same way!) That's just life. 

But what really bothers me is how easy it is to go from happy super-mom to frustrated, grumpy, impatient, snappish, stressed-out, frazzled, crazy, no-fun-at-all mom. Don't get me wrong-- I love being a mom, and that really is all the time. I realize that the hard parts are just included with this job, and even on our very worst day I'm so thankful I get to do what I do.
 

The problem is, I just need to show that, that attitude of gratitude, even in the hard moments. It's too easy and common to let the circumstances dictate my mood and the person I choose to be.  

It's good to revel in the great moments and to take our reward, whether it be a sense of accomplishment or an extra bit of pure joy. We all need that.  I think God gives us those shining moments or days of pleasant ease when we need them most, not so we can feel prideful or puffed up, but so we can simply keep going. It's His grace. 

Grace. There it is. The quality I want to have and exhibit not only to the world but also and especially to these small ones under my care. Grace under pressure. It's easy to be happy and loving and speak in a kind tone when everything is going my way. But, oh, how hard it is at other times.

When an entire bowl of cereal and milk gets spilled all over the table, chairs, and floor.

When your four-year old throws her third gigantic fit of the day just because you gave her the pink lunch plate instead of the purple one.

When you're desperately trying to get ready to actually be somewhere on time and there hasn't been a moment to just breathe and the kids won't stop fighting and bickering and the toddler won't stop making mess after mess after mess.

When everyone gets runny noses and colds all in the same week and there is so much whining and snot and lack of proper sleep that all you want to do is curl up on the couch by yourself to nap, but oh look, you can't, because there's another kid who needs something and also, a giant smear of snot on your favorite pillow.

When you've had to tell them to do the same chore four times and you start to feel like Naggy mcNaggerson, which I just hate.

When the third dish of the day gets broken and you know it's because they were goofing when you told them not to. 

When the seven-year-old spends an hour grumping and pouting because she didn't just want quesadillas for lunch, and you, being the horrible mean person you are, made her eat them anyway. 

When naptime for little one isn't naptime at all, but instead cry-and-scream-and-be-miserable-and-grumpy time... which, coincidentally, is what the whole day has been like. And the day before that. And the day before that.

When your nine-year-old argues and talks back and throws down bad attitude like it's her business.

When you've gotten the baby all clean and fresh after a long bath and are just ready to pull the kid out, only to discover he's been sitting in turd-water for the past five minutes.   

When you're woken up repeatedly at 4:30 in the morning to more snot and more whining and crying.

When you feel behind on everything and you can't help but compare yourself to all the other moms our there who must have it more together than you.

When you have a lot on your mind and you're feeling a little lost or worried. 

When you're sad.

When you're stressed.

When you're weary.

When life gets heavy.

We've all been there. Perhaps you haven't had some of these exact same situations (these have all actually been a part of my week, YAY BEST WEEK EVER HAHAHAHAHAHA NOT REALLY), but I bet you've got your own set of "whens" that make it hard to carry on with a calm spirit of love and grace or at the very least a smile.

This is what I'm working on, friends. I'm working on being a great and graceful mom not just when it's fun and easy to be a great mom, but even in the nitty-gritty of it all, in the awful and hard and challenging moments and on the really crappy (you can take that both literally and figuratively, how neat is that) days too. I want to nurture and bless my children even when they don't feel like blessings to me (which they are, of course). I want to glorify my God every day, not just on the good ones.

And I can't do it alone. I know if I try that it's only going to get worse. I'm relying on my God to soften and shape and sanctify me, to take my efforts and bless them and give me the strength and will to just keep on trying. To take His grace and cover me, and then to allow me to share that grace all day long with my family. It's going to take prayer, and it's going to take a lot of me looking into my kids' eyes and asking forgiveness in the messy moments, because I know I'm only human and perfection is impossible.  

Parenthood. Good grief. It is so sanctifying and humbling, like nothing else.

And it is such a gift.

> > > Here's one other little thought to tack onto the end of this messy post about motherhood... since we know we've all got our own set of struggles and I think it's safe to say that no one finds parenting an easy task... how about taking the time to encourage another mother today? Write a note and send it snail-mail style. Drop off a Starbucks or a plate of cookies or some flowers from your garden. Call just to say "I love you and you're doing a great job". Ask how you can pray for her specifically. Plan a park date and spend some mommy time together. Share a Bible verse or two that you once found encouraging. It can even be as simple as a text message, just to let her know you're thinking of her, right down there in the trenches where you are too. I know from experience that these sorts of things, no matter how big or small they are, can make the day just a little bit more bearable and joyful. 

(this post is specifically about moms, but this idea of intentional and simple encouragement is something we can practice with anyone and everyone, no matter how different our circumstances. It's such a lovely and wonderful thing! Bonus: if you take the time to encourage someone else, you almost always end up being encouraged yourself. BAM. I know, because I can't even tell you how many times this has happened to me. Isn't God good?) < < <

> > > ps. speaking of lovely and wonderful things, check out my new blog look! It's so purty! courtesy of the one and only sweet Molly June, she's the bomb diggity, y'all. < < &lt 

 

this is monday morning.

Me, showered but undone in the makeup or hair department, doing our lesson planning for the week, since our weekend was far too busy to allow for it. Reveling in the thrill of a brand-new pad of list paper, and all the promise and potential therein, and enjoying the much-needed cup of coffee my sweet sister brought me when she came home from her morning shift.

Rosalie, still in her pajamas and yesterday's ponytail, happily tracing shapes and humming snatches of songs to herself (much to her sisters' annoyance).

Emma, also undone in the hair department but still cute, on the computer doing her math, clicking away on the mouse and keyboard like an old pro. She claims she hates it, but I think she secretly likes doing it because using the computer all by herself makes her feel grown-up. Anything that makes math more fun is a thumbs-up in my book.

Annabelle, concentrating on her grammar workbook, which as of now is one of her favorite subjects. Curly hair all wild from the night's sleep and glasses perched smartly on her adorable nose, I look at her working independently and think how much older a second grader seems than a first grader.

Bennett wanders around the house in a t-shirt and diaper, seeing what he can get into, every once in a while climbing on top of things like the computer desk from whence I  must rescue him. His toys of choice this morning are a pancake turner and a potato masher, which he wears on his arm because he figured out he can.

And Violet the dog sleeps soundly on top of forgotten pillows upon the couch, and the breakfast dishes sit on the counter still because I somehow haven't gotten to them yet even though it's 11 in the morning. I'm ok with that. Some things can wait. They'll get done sometime today, as will the laundry and the picking up of scattered toys.

These are just unedited pictures from my phone. I like it that way, because these moments, these snapshots from this Monday morning in September, aren't necessarily anything special or spectacular. It's just life; the normal, imperfect, messy, sometimes crazy or frustrating or exhausting, simple and beautiful and wonderful kind. And these are the moments I want to capture, because they are NOW; but someday they won't be, and I know I will miss them and cherish the sweet remembrance.

sometimes...

...I walk around all day singing bits and pieces of Disney songs. I tell myself it's for the kids (because I'm convinced that they LOVE it. They do. I know they do.), but really, I just like thinking I sound like a princess.

...I want to make a box of Kraft macaroni and cheese, and then eat the whole thing, all by myself. I've never actually done it. But someday I think I will.

...I like to add sparkles (I know, "bokeh" is the proper term, but to me they look like sparkles, so sparkles they shall be) to random pictures on my phone. This is why photo apps are wonderful....just look how beautiful it makes every picture! It works on everything!
Kids!

Pets!

Nature!

Even food!

(this is a joke, in case you couldn't tell. sparkles do not belong on any of these.)
(ok, FINE. so that third one is currently my phone background. I really do love it.)

...I stay up much later than I should, just because it's quiet and I'm free to do whatever I want, and somehow going to bed feels like I'm giving up something precious. Unfortunately, come morning and all its demands, I always wish I HAD gone to bed. One would think I'd learn.

...I find myself craving more simplicity. And nature. Maybe a picnic and books on a blanket with my little ones, somewhere in a clearing in the middle of the woods, flowers and bees and babbling brooks and sunshine all included. Sigh.

...I play the songs from Pride and Prejudice on the piano and I imagine Mr. Darcy walking towards me across a field in the early morning light. (it's ok, my dear husband knows about my thing with Mr. Darcy... besides, it's a pretty common affliction among women, I think.)

...I just go ahead and put Bennett in the dog crate when he's causing too much trouble.

(CHILL OUT, I'M KIDDING. He just happened to crawl in there one day while I was putting on makeup around the corner, and like any sensible mother these days would do, I took a picture before I pulled him out and let him go on his free and merry way.)

...I wish I had unlimited time to pour into the people in my life. There's a lot of wonderful ones, and sometimes I feel woefully inadequate when it comes to loving them.

...I find it very easy to trust God. And sometimes, not so much. I'm so glad He doesn't depend on me for His plan to be fulfilled, because things would be a mess, otherwise.

...I have a good hair/makeup/outfit day. When this happens, I take a picture or two to document it. And then I send it to my dear sister Jerusha in Denver, since I know she loves to see my face randomly pop up on her phone (highlight of her day, I'm sure. obviously.) Besides, then I feel like my picture isn't going to waste! (does any of this make me vain??)

...I remember that I have a blog and that the purpose of having a blog is to post on it. Like today!
hello, internet world!! So glad we could reconnect for a wee bit. :)

things I wish I had time to do, but totally don't.

yes, I really am writing a blog post about this.
prepare yourself.
it's going to be riveting.

are you ready??

ok. here it is.

I give you my list of Things I Wish I Had Time To Do, But Totally Don't.

1. gardening. Our yard has so many dead or unruly plants in it, so many bare patches that need some green. I want to be in the dirt and plant things and watch them grow again and bring some new life and color into our yard.

2. exercise. Because, really, I don't suppose this post-fourth-baby body of mine will magically tighten up and slim down on its own? will it? I have to exercise?

that's what I thought. sigh.

3. reading. I miss books, and I miss a great story. Besides, I have a feeling that getting a chance to read a book that's not written for a child would be good for my brain!

4. sewing. My closet shelves are stacked with fun and lovely fabrics and I have a good friend who just had her first baby, an adorable little girl. Those little girl fabrics are calling out for me to make a blanky. And my cousin is having a baby boy soon! and I realized the other day that my very own little boy has not one Bennett blanky made just for him. Yes indeed, a date with my sewing machine would be nice.

5. crafts. what are those, again? hot glue? paint? huh? these things are no longer a part of my life, and I want them back.

6. cleaning. I do what I can, when I can. but it never gets done as much as I want it to be done. this, however, probably does not bug me nearly as much as it should.  I do love to have a clean home, though. and I promise we don't live in a pig-sty.

7. talk on the phone. We have lots of family that is far away. and lately it feels like I don't get to talk to them nearly as often as I would like. I'm missing that connection. thank goodness for texting! It's the only way we can share the important parts of our day, such as what we're having for dinner, or what our favorite routine on So You Think You Can Dance was. You know, the really crucial things.

8. nap. I'm tired and sleepy. and I like naps. thankfully, since napping is almost never an option, I also really like coffee.

8. blogging. That way, I wouldn't have to resort to lame posts like this one... I bet that would make you happy too, wouldn't it??

It's true that there is never enough time in one day to accomplish half of the things I need to do, much less the things I just want to do. If I'm caught up on one thing it feels amazing.
Why, just the other day, all the laundry got washed, dried, AND folded. I'm pretty sure I now know what it feels like to successfully climb Mt. Everest!

Truth be told, silly lists aside, I don't mind the busy-ness of life right now. These four little people that inhabit my home and my heart are worth every minute of crazy.

 

 

this picture is just one of many from Bennett's newborn session, taken by the one and only Lorie Chambless.

in case you're wondering, yes, my mommy heart did melt within me when I saw this.

I'm blessed beyond words.

on Sunday...

...I felt cute.

And I decided that I should blog about it. After all, it's practically an event!

If you've ever been 15-ish weeks pregnant with your fourth child, you know what I mean. :)

So, in honor of a good hair day and an outfit that worked, you get a gratuitous fashion post.


cardigan: goodwill
tank top: forever21 (their basic tank tops are the best!)
dress: target clearance
teal belt: goodwill
lacy tights: forever21, a christmas stocking stuffer from my seester
boots: goodwill

I love these boots. They were $4.50, and they're the most incredibly comfortable and sturdy boots I own. They're beat up and worn and scuffed, but that makes me love them even more.


Can you believe I'm already nearly sixteen weeks pregnant? It honestly seems like we just found out about baby a few weeks ago. It's crazy how quickly this is going by

I'm always tired, often nauseous, sometimes broken-out like a teenager, awkwardly getting bigger (all over, it seems. it's delightful. ha.) and struggling to keep up with things around here....
but I'm really, honestly, truly, and completely thankful for these things.
This babe of ours seems to be growing and healthy so far, my pregnancy has been free from complications or serious sickness...and I've realized afresh with this pregnancy what a huge gift these things are. It is not one to be taken for granted and one for which I try to remember to praise God daily.
(sometimes unsuccessfully. I can get rather grumpy! but I'm trying, I really am.)



Here's to lacy tights and vintage boots. Here's to sweet little baby #4, already a blessing to us.

and here's to all of you, may you have a lovely week ahead of you!

on NOT doing it all.

My poor little blog. So neglected and alone, so post-less and picture-less and hopelessy outdated. I wonder if the other blogs stand around in little groups and point fingers and snicker at it?

poor blog.

I think everyday, I come to more and more of a realization that I simply cannot do it all...and this blog is just one more evidence of the fact.
If we have a great week in school and get everything done that I planned and have time for fun things too, you can bet my house is a disaster and there are probably baskets of laundry sitting around, unfolded and getting more wrinkly by the day.
If I manage to keep the house picked up and do things like actually clean the bathrooms and dust, we probably didn't check everything off our school assignments, and we most definitely didn't get to do any school-related crafts.
If all my piano students come that week, just go ahead and add on to the lack of cleaning and/or schoolwork.
If dinner gets cooked every night, or we have people over (which happens quite often), my kitchen is probably a perpetual mess.
If I actually sit down and simply read with my girls or to take them to the park just for fun, there's probably some vacuuming or grocery shopping that should have gotten done and didn't.
If I take the time to indulge myself in a good book or do something crafty for myself (oh crafting. how I miss thee.), I will probably feel a wee bit guilty because I KNOW that there is some chore or school grading that I'm neglecting.
Home decorating? What is that, exactly? I've forgotten, because I haven't done anything new in forever!
Gardening? Does sticking some plants into a few pots once every couple months count? Because that's about the extent of that, lately. I miss the feel of dirt in between my fingers.
Exercising? HA ha ha ha HA. HAAA. ha. suuuuure.

And, usually, on those rare and wonderful days where I actually feel like I'm on top of things and everything somehow is getting done, something will happen to completely derail me and bring me back down from my happy, albeit unrealistic, cloud of accomplishment and victory.
Such as, a young child will drop a can of shaken up Dr. Pepper on your kitchen floor, where it will explode and spin violently around until literally every surface of your kitchen and dining room-- and I do mean EVERY surface: stove, dishwasher, microwave, refrigerator, cupboards, walls, canisters, small appliances... FLOOR to CEILING, puddles and drips and splashes everywhere-- is covered in soda. Who knew that one can of Dr. Pepper actually contains enough liquid to coat two rooms of your house in a sticky brown mess that will take you three hours, and then some because you keep finding MORE, to clean? Not me! But, I do now. Oh, as of last week, I know. If you're wondering: why yes, I did cry.

I'm almost ready to laugh about it now though. almost. :)

I know pretty much everyone out there can relate to this in some way (right?? please tell me I'm not the only one?) and believe it or not, I'm not complaning (although I'm sure it sounds like it). I'm simply stating what I've learned, what I'm continuing to learn. This is LIFE, friends. This is how it is right now.
Yes, there are days when I feel completely stressed and overwhelmed, when I feel like I'm failing and I'm sad because I want to be able to do so much more and what's more, I feel like I should be able to so I'm not letting my family or anyone else I love down. Days where I complain and I snap and I feel sorry for myself (just even typing that sounds pathetic. sheesh.) and I lose patience and a good attitude. But, mostly, when I remind myself to be, I'm grateful. Grateful not only because I am blessed beyond measure in so many different ways, but also because I can see how the Lord is really using this crazy-busy time in our lives to teach me what is important and to let go, when I have to, of the things that aren't.
My husband and our marriage is important.
My kids and their training and these years while they are with us are important.
Our friends and family, all those wonderful people we've been blessed with, are important.
Having an open home and sharing what we've been given is important.
Making memories is important, even if those memories are made in a messy house.
God is important. Time with Him, in prayer and in scripture and in study with other believers, is important.

These are some of the things that I want to, no, I need to put first. These are the "big" things. The great thing is, that I know the "little" things like crafting, gardening, and reading and yes, even house-cleaning, will find a place too sometimes, nestled in among the big things, the perfect and lovely filler for those calmer moments.

Lest you think I'm very wise (HA. right. haaa.), let me just say that there is still a LOT I have to learn. I know I can do SO much better in many areas, I know I often don't have my priorities right, and I must confess to you that I fall very short, especially in having a cheerful attitude, much of the time.
But. I'm trusting this God I serve, the One to whose glory I want to do it all, and I know He'll help me and change me and grow me and be with me every step of the way, His grace filling each day with fresh starts and new chances, with hope and joy and beauty even amidst the messiness.
What a mighty, loving, and patient God we do serve!

And now, my friends, I wish you a very happy Wednesday, and promise that I'll be back again soon (no, really!!) with some pictures of peoples and pumpkins. yes, that's right, folks, it's time for the annual pumpkin patch pictures. happy happy joy joy!

snippets.

~it's been three weeks since I last blogged! THREE WEEKS! I could have sworn it was only one or two. hmmm.

~today wraps up our first full week of school. I'm fully worn out, but also very thankful for how well things went. It's so good to feel like we accomplished a lot and are finding our groove. God is good! (and yes, I do plan on blogging more in-depth about the start of our third year of homeschooling. THIRD year! I could have sworn it was only one or two. hmmm.)

~my kids crack me up sometimes. yesterday while Emma and Annabelle were taking a shower they started beat-boxing and rapping. sadly, they seem to have inherited their mother's white-ness. the beat-boxing was followed by their rendition of an operatic aria. oh, beautiful.

~I ate Cap'n Crunch for breakfast this morning!

~my mom is coming to visit on Sunday. and we are very very excited! I miss her, the kids miss her, we all miss her, and we are going to soak her up every minute she's here.

~there's a delicious breeze running through our backyard this morning, that makes me think fall might actually maybe possibly be almost here. oh I hope, I hope, I hope.

~I have no pictures for this post, because every picture I've taken in the last few weeks, except for the ones I'll use for my school post, have been on my cell phone. and I'm too lazy to upload them right now. so. my sincerest apologies.

~my blog page needs a major update... I just realized I've had the same design for at least a year and a half. that's just sad.

~cinnamon rolls. I'm making cinnamon rolls later today. yes.

~I love people. and I love the variety of people God has given me in my life. I'm trying to learn better how to love them all in the biggest and best ways I can.... only by God's grace, of course. Loving isn't always easy, is it?

~my google account won't let me comment at all, not even anonymously, on certain blogs. Quite a lot of them, actually. Now, I'm usually not a great commenter these days anyway, but this little problem has actually stopped me from leaving lots of already-typed-out comments. See? I'm not neglecting you! it's the internet's fault. blame the internet.

~The number of times I yawned while writing this post: 12. I need coffee.

~this: "and let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." Galatians 6:9. a mantra of mine.

~happy Friday, friends, and may you have a delightful weekend. xoxoxo. :)

meet some old friends of mine.

I like to read. Very much. I don't think I could survive without books, quite honestly.

Take a look, it's in a book.... (Reading Rainbow, anyone?)

Ever since I can remember, I've loved to read. I distinctly remember being six or seven years old, laying on my bed reading for hours one afternoon. And then my mom called me down for dinner, and I just so happened to be in that spot in the book, the spot where you simply can't put it down. So, being a smart and clever girl, I decided I would simply continue reading while I walked down the hallway, around the corner, and down the stairs.

That didn't work out so well.

Perhaps not my brightest moment as a child, but it does illustrate quite accurately how passionately and completely I loved reading, how easily I would find myself immersed in whatever world was written on the pages, and what a great joy a good story has always been to me.

It still holds true, and while the time I have to lose myself in a good book has become much less now that I'm a grown woman with a family and I'm the one calling the kids to dinner, I still simply can't go TOO long without reading.

This summer, I've had the opportunity to read quite a lot, actually, and it's been wonderful. Refreshing. I've rediscovered many books I haven't read in years, as well as discovered a few new ones to love.

Today, since I have books on the brain, I thought I would share with you some of the books I love the most, the ones I have read over and over again in my life, the ones that I never get tired of no matter how many time I may have already wandered through their pages.

Oh, Anne of Green Gables. She is a literary person who is near and dear to my heart. I think I've read through this series nearly ten times since I first discovered the little red-headed orphan who lived on Prince Edward Island. And every time, I find myself just as enraptured with Anne and the lovely, funny, delightfully-populated life she lives on good ol' P.E.I. Lucy Maud Montgomery has a way with words that takes my breath away, and I can just picture everything she describes. Perhaps that is why it is so easy to fall in love with Anne and all her surroundings. If I could somehow BE Anne for just a little while, I think I would.

Elnora Comstock, the girl of the Limberlost, is another heroine whom I love. This book paints such a vivid picture not only of the beautiful swamp she calls home, but of second chances and strength, of love and life. I can't help but love Elnora, to ache with her when her heart breaks, and to rejoice with her when happiness finally comes to her. Gene Stratton Porter is masterful, and I happily enter Elnora's Limberlost time and again.

I do so love a good mystery novel. And there is none who provides it better than Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Sherlock Homes is, in my humble opinion, one of the best characters ever created. There's no one else like him. And Watson? Watson is the perfect pairing to our beloved detective. They both stand on their own as characters, but together they are perfection, and I love all the little ins and outs of their relationship. There is so much dry humor, wit, sarcasm, and intelligence in these volumes that I discover some fresh nuance every time I read them. Not to mention the mysteries themselves are intriguing and bewildering, fascinating and complex. Sherlock never disappoints.

This is the book I am currently re-reading, for probably the fifth or sixth time. Dark secrets, interesting characters, drama, intrigue, romance, adventure, surprises at every turn... what more could one wish for in a book? I am captivated every time.

I first picked up a Harry Potter book two or three years ago. And when I was done reading about Harry and the Sorcerer's Stone, I then proceeded to read the remaining six books in a span of about two weeks, because I literally could not put them down. (My chores suffered quite sadly during that time, I'll be honest.) I've reread them all since then, and the series has become one of my favorite. I won't get all "Harry-Potter-nerd" on you right now, but suffice it to say that every single one of these books is amazing and J.K. Rowling is brilliant. If you've seen and liked the movies, but have never read the books, you MUST. Must, I tell you! The movies are good, but the books are on an entirely different level. They give you ten times more of the story to love.

My mom first had me read this book when I was about twelve. I liked it then, but now that I'm older and more mature, I appreciate it and love it so much more. Here we follow a young girl through her diary and watch her grow up, reading about her journey towards womanhood and remarkable faith. It's beautiful, inspiring, encouraging, and convincting. I'm always amazed at how much I relate to this book.

These books always give me a funny little ache, the kind that comes from something being so lovely and dear that you just feel it in your soul. Narnia is one of my favorite fictional places to visit, and I will always love these books, even when I'm old and gray.

I never read through this book all at once... but it's always right there waiting to be opened up when I need an extra dose of encouragement. Elisabeth Elliot is a beautiful person, and her writings are a great reflection of the depths of her love for God and her desire to live fully for him. The Lord has used this book so many times in my life, and as such it will always have a place on my shelf and in my heart.

Jane Austen has been a part of my life since I was a very young girl... my dear grandma has a great love for all things Jane Austen, and I remember watching some of the BBC movies of her various books with my grandma when I was probably only 6 or 7 years old. Of course, I didn't understand the complexities of the stories or characters at that age, and I was still years away from reading the books, but Jane Austen became a familiar name to me from that time on. Since then, I've of course read all of her books, and I love them all, although Pride and Prejudice remains one of my favorites. I'm pretty sure Mr. Darcy might have something to do with that!

Forgive me for making this post so long, and so wordy. (I blame the books.) Would you believe I could add even more books to this list? This is simply a smattering of the ones that I keep coming back to, and I know that the titles included among my "old friends" will only continue to grow as I keep reading and expanding my library.

How thankful I am for words written on pages, just waiting to be turned and taken in, to become a part of our memories and our very existence.

Please do tell, what are some of your all-time favorite books? Why? Did they hold any special significance in your life? I'd love a peek into your bookshelf...

...from one bookworm to another. :)

this is what he has to put up with.

A conversation between husband and wife on a recent Romantic Day At The Beach:

Me: "Oh look, honey. They had to close this part because the plants needed rehab."

Him: "Yes, I see that...."

Me: "No, I mean, like they had to GO TO REHAB. You know, for addiction."

Him, patiently: "Ohh, okkk.... but what were they addicted to?"

Me: "Weed."

Him: slaps forehead

Me: "oh come on, that's FUNNY."

Him, not sarcastically at all: "You're right. SO clever. How wonderful that I married a girl of such wit."

Bless his little heart.

I'm here to tell you...

...that this is going to be a total cop-out post. I might as well be upfront about that. You can stop reading now if you like. BUT WAIT. what if I have some big announcement at the end or something?? Hmmm. Maybe you'd better keep reading after all. you never know!!

...that my hydrangeas are in full bloom and it makes me ridiculously happy. I've been cutting stems of the gorgeous hot-pink flowers and putting them in jars for my kitchen table, giving them away to people whenever I can. Ah, hydrangeas. They're loveliness captured in a blossom.

...that I made chocolate-drizzled peanut butter cookies tonight, and they were, if I do say so myself, quite yummy. Curses on me and my love of baking, for I shall never be thin again.

...that I miss blogging. May is such a busy, busy month, and it just doesn't seem to be something I have time for lately. Sad face.

...that this post should have pictures with it (because posts with pictures are just more fun), but alas, my camera and I have not been very close these days. I took some random pictures of Rosalie the other day and realized they were the first pictures I had taken that weren't phone pictures in at least a couple of weeks. More sad face. (I pledge to take as many pictures as I can this week!)

...that my 2nd annual piano recital with all my students is coming up on Tuesday, and I can't even tell you how excited I am for it. Seeing their accomplishment after all their (and my) hard work is just such a happy thing. I have the best piano students in the whole wide world, if you ask me.

...that while it breaks my heart to see so many wonderful people going through hard things all around me, it is always amazing and inspiring to see their faith and trust in God, even in the darkest hour. I know the Lord will not let them shine for nothing... and I can see how greatly He uses such moments and people.

...that if you should happen to stop by my house, you will most likely find it a mess. Because, well, you see, it's always a mess in some way or another. le sigh. I think we're running out of space. (but don't you let that stop you from coming by, if you want. I'll clear some laundry off the couch so we can sit down and chat, and you can help me eat the cookies I've probably just baked and am trying deperately not to eat. It'll be delightful.)

...that I absolutely love our puppy. Seriously, people. She's the cutest, sweetest little dog, and I love her to pieces. Our little Violetta.

...that I'm almost done with this post. Hang in there, you've almost made it! don't give up now!

...that Friday marked the one-year anniversary of the day we found out that my mom's tumor was completely gone. One year later, and she is still, as far as we can tell, cancer and lymphoma free. Cooking up a delicious storm for her family and friends. Filling pages of scrapbooks with fun pictures. Making a quilt for Rosalie. Teaching women's Bible study. Helping to start a pregnancy center in their town. Being there for her husband, kids, and grandkids. And I am still thankful every day. :)

...that God is good. yes indeed, my friends, He is gracious, and so so good. For all these reasons and more.

...good night, dear ones, good night!

she smiled and she stuck her hand in her pocket, for in it was joy. an abundance of joy, the same kind that can be found anywhere in any day but not every one can see. and she reached in and pulled some out, and handed it to the someone else who stood near. "here," she said. "I want YOU to have this. because, you see, joy is really the best when it's shared."

a confession and the cutest picture ever.

I am a bad blogger.

yes, it's true. A BAD blogger.

I haven't written 80% of the posts that I should and would like to.

and chances are I never will.

I just spent the last half-hour browsing blogs (I do so love to go blog-browsing) and I just adore how charming and funny, witty and beautiful, full of life and daily musings other's blogs are.

I would like to be like that.

But I'm realizing more and more that life won't let me be like that. Or maybe that's just an excuse? Either way, I'm accepting that and becoming ok with infrequency and sporadic-ness. (that's a word, right? I say yes.) I still love to blog. and I still want to capture life here, and to reach out to all of you, and to be a part of this great big wonderful blogging world. But it'll have to be on whatever level I can acheive in whatever season of life I happen to be. The spaces between my blog posts tell a story of their own, and it's one that I love, that of a life full and busy to the brim.

And as long as I can still come here and share things like this picture with you...

...then all is not lost for me and my little blog. :)

This is my little 6-year old niece, Faith. She and her brother, Jason, spent the day with us on Saturday and after I found my rhythm in dealing with five rambunctious children and and two puppies (heh), we had such a lovely time with the cousins, playing outside at the park and running in the sunshine, indulging in rainbow sherbet and playing tag at the Marketplace, eating popcorn and watching movies... and playing with puppies! The one on the left is their little pup, Tiffany, and the other one is, of course, our own little Violet. So much sweetness in one picture. It makes my heart smile and will always make me think of my fun-filled day with my darlings.

I hope all of you found a lot of joy this weekend!

sweet thursday.

i woke up to rosalie crying in her crib because she had dropped her stuffed puppy, and the real puppy barking in the kitchen.
then we lingered over breakfast, the sister and I listening to music on my laptop and the girls reading library books.
some schoolwork was done, and someone lovely brought us starbucks iced tea. violet peed on the floor. then she pooped on the floor. the girls argued back and forth, over i know not what.
but then, we all packed up into the van, and we drove to the park, where there was no carpet for the pup to potty on and no reason for my children to fight.
three of my favorite people and i sat in the sun until it was too warm. talking. laughing. eating. enjoying each other while the kids played in the delicious spring weather.
we came home to a nap for a tired rosalie, and five piano students for me. we picked recital songs. i'm excited for may.

rosalie woke up from her nap a grumpy-pants. we sat outside on the patio for a while, with the late afternoon sun hitting our faces just right. cuddling. smooching. me soaking up my baby.


my hair was super frizzy today. i tried to put it up, but it wouldn't stay. strands escaping everywhere. but i gave myself a little braid and decided not to care, and felt cute anyway.
the husband came home. i love when he comes home. dinner was subway sandwiches, and i listened to songs from 500 days of summer while i drove home. i looked at the sun as it was setting, so orange and brilliant and lovely as it slipped into the horizon.
emma and annabelle made paper plate dolls (their idea, not mine) and gave them names. and cute lil' napkin dresses.

meet melinda abigail, and her friend, ella giselle.
i baked butterscotch cookies for the band boys who were making music out in the garage. my dirty, sandy, sun-soaked children needed baths and showers while they were in the oven.
rosalie pooped in the tub. again. note to self, do NOT give this child a bath unless she's already pooped for the day. there is almost always a floater or two involved. ewwww.
while i waited for the tub to drain so i could clean it out, violet and rosalie, all nakey, chased each other around the house. baby butts are awfully cute. so are happy puppies.
and when i got her out of the tub, for the second time, i discovered that a certain little puppy had pooped in the living room.
i don't like poop.

we hung out in our living room and ate fresh cookies. it was nice to be with friends. and the cookies were pretty good too.
i wrote a blog without using capital letters. i rambled (in case you didn't notice). but sometimes, rambling is really soothing.

not too long ago, i started keeping a thankfulness journal. before i go to bed i write down the things for which i was especially thankful on that day. it's been good for me. because, as i wrote on the first page of that journal, "even the most knock-down, drag-out, rough-and-tumble sort of day has a shiny gem or two to be plucked out of the dust and examined in gratitude and joy. you just have to look for them."
and some days aren't rough and tumble. lots of days aren't. some days aren't exceptionally amazing or stand-out. some days are just sweet.
a string of little events, pleasant or not, that make up the hours and the memories therein. like today.
today was sweet.
i liked today.
and God is good.
always.
:)