Wednesday, November 9, 2011

on NOT doing it all.

My poor little blog. So neglected and alone, so post-less and picture-less and hopelessy outdated. I wonder if the other blogs stand around in little groups and point fingers and snicker at it?

poor blog.

I think everyday, I come to more and more of a realization that I simply cannot do it all...and this blog is just one more evidence of the fact.
If we have a great week in school and get everything done that I planned and have time for fun things too, you can bet my house is a disaster and there are probably baskets of laundry sitting around, unfolded and getting more wrinkly by the day.
If I manage to keep the house picked up and do things like actually clean the bathrooms and dust, we probably didn't check everything off our school assignments, and we most definitely didn't get to do any school-related crafts.
If all my piano students come that week, just go ahead and add on to the lack of cleaning and/or schoolwork.
If dinner gets cooked every night, or we have people over (which happens quite often), my kitchen is probably a perpetual mess.
If I actually sit down and simply read with my girls or to take them to the park just for fun, there's probably some vacuuming or grocery shopping that should have gotten done and didn't.
If I take the time to indulge myself in a good book or do something crafty for myself (oh crafting. how I miss thee.), I will probably feel a wee bit guilty because I KNOW that there is some chore or school grading that I'm neglecting.
Home decorating? What is that, exactly? I've forgotten, because I haven't done anything new in forever!
Gardening? Does sticking some plants into a few pots once every couple months count? Because that's about the extent of that, lately. I miss the feel of dirt in between my fingers.
Exercising? HA ha ha ha HA. HAAA. ha. suuuuure.

And, usually, on those rare and wonderful days where I actually feel like I'm on top of things and everything somehow is getting done, something will happen to completely derail me and bring me back down from my happy, albeit unrealistic, cloud of accomplishment and victory.
Such as, a young child will drop a can of shaken up Dr. Pepper on your kitchen floor, where it will explode and spin violently around until literally every surface of your kitchen and dining room-- and I do mean EVERY surface: stove, dishwasher, microwave, refrigerator, cupboards, walls, canisters, small appliances... FLOOR to CEILING, puddles and drips and splashes everywhere-- is covered in soda. Who knew that one can of Dr. Pepper actually contains enough liquid to coat two rooms of your house in a sticky brown mess that will take you three hours, and then some because you keep finding MORE, to clean? Not me! But, I do now. Oh, as of last week, I know. If you're wondering: why yes, I did cry.

I'm almost ready to laugh about it now though. almost. :)

I know pretty much everyone out there can relate to this in some way (right?? please tell me I'm not the only one?) and believe it or not, I'm not complaning (although I'm sure it sounds like it). I'm simply stating what I've learned, what I'm continuing to learn. This is LIFE, friends. This is how it is right now.
Yes, there are days when I feel completely stressed and overwhelmed, when I feel like I'm failing and I'm sad because I want to be able to do so much more and what's more, I feel like I should be able to so I'm not letting my family or anyone else I love down. Days where I complain and I snap and I feel sorry for myself (just even typing that sounds pathetic. sheesh.) and I lose patience and a good attitude. But, mostly, when I remind myself to be, I'm grateful. Grateful not only because I am blessed beyond measure in so many different ways, but also because I can see how the Lord is really using this crazy-busy time in our lives to teach me what is important and to let go, when I have to, of the things that aren't.
My husband and our marriage is important.
My kids and their training and these years while they are with us are important.
Our friends and family, all those wonderful people we've been blessed with, are important.
Having an open home and sharing what we've been given is important.
Making memories is important, even if those memories are made in a messy house.
God is important. Time with Him, in prayer and in scripture and in study with other believers, is important.

These are some of the things that I want to, no, I need to put first. These are the "big" things. The great thing is, that I know the "little" things like crafting, gardening, and reading and yes, even house-cleaning, will find a place too sometimes, nestled in among the big things, the perfect and lovely filler for those calmer moments.

Lest you think I'm very wise (HA. right. haaa.), let me just say that there is still a LOT I have to learn. I know I can do SO much better in many areas, I know I often don't have my priorities right, and I must confess to you that I fall very short, especially in having a cheerful attitude, much of the time.
But. I'm trusting this God I serve, the One to whose glory I want to do it all, and I know He'll help me and change me and grow me and be with me every step of the way, His grace filling each day with fresh starts and new chances, with hope and joy and beauty even amidst the messiness.
What a mighty, loving, and patient God we do serve!

And now, my friends, I wish you a very happy Wednesday, and promise that I'll be back again soon (no, really!!) with some pictures of peoples and pumpkins. yes, that's right, folks, it's time for the annual pumpkin patch pictures. happy happy joy joy!


Mom said...

Lovely post, my dear!! I was just reading in Tabletalk this morning those passages in Philipians about grumbling and complaining which are always convicting. And there were further references to read on the children of Israel in the wilderness, who we judge because they saw all that greatness and power of God and grumbled and complained and turned away from to idols. But are we really any better? The greatness of God we have seen is so much more in the sending of His Son to live here amongst us sinners (and He never complained!!) and then took all of our sins upon Himself, suffering the wrath of God in our stead,and dying a cruel death on the accursed cross. Then He actually rose from the dead! Hallelujah!! And by His Spirit He has made us new creations!! Hallelujah again!! He has made us partakers of His anointing and given us the privilege of being His ambassadors!!
And we (I am including myself in this!) still do find ourselves grumbling and complaining:( about the very things that God is using to conform us to the image of Christ.

P.S. The Dr. Pepper mess was God's judgment on having that gut rot in your house:) LOL

Abi said...

OH no! I've done the exact same thing with the Dr. Pepper, so I definitely feel for you!
A very inspiring post. Thank you! I feel bogged down by everything I'm not getting done, but I always have to remember to keep my eyes on Christ and thank him that I even have those things to do!

Lisa said...

I just wanted to say hello and I love you and you are most certainly not alone. I could have written this myself.

Megan said...

What a great post and reminder to have some perspective about what's important! I think we all can relate to this sometimes. Thanks for being so honest :)

bandofbrothers said...

Thanks for sharing your heart. I needed to hear every single word. A sermon from the pulpit of Talia.

Oh, these past few weeks have been so screwed up for me priority wise, I could just squirm reading everything you wrote.

But I know I needed to hear it, so thank you very much.

We do serve a mighty God and I wish I were not falling so short:(

Love you doll.

p.s. you are kinda like a working-woman with piano. That's hard to juggle and fit it and I appreciate all your devotion to everything aforementioned in your priorities.

i'm lindsey. said...

oh talia, i don't have words right now, just a big virtual hug :) i love you and love that you're so real and open. my last few weeks have been a mess as well.....but when we share our messy lives, it's a testament to each other, of the grace of GOD, and that IT is the only thing that gets us through these messy times :) love you!!!

Barbie said...

Ah, the season of realizing what is REALLY important. I can definitely relate.

You're such an inspirational, beautiful, gracious woman...even if your messy house is covered in Dr. Pepper! :)Ha!