Friday, May 28, 2010

jumping for joy!


(if you're new to this blog, you can go here to catch up on what has happened in the last six months, the first part of this story)

This past Wednesday I had butterflies in my stomach. And I think my face broke out in no less then 5 new pimples. (stress. It gives me the skin of an oily 14-year-old.)

Wednesday was the day my mom had her MRI-- the MRI that would tell us whether her month of radiation had worked or not, the one that would let us know the next step in this journey.

I honestly had prepared myself for bad news. Maybe that was a bad attitude to have, maybe it shows a lack of faith... I don't know. All I know was that while every single part of my being hoped and prayed for good--no, GREAT-- news, I honestly and truly didn't want to get my hopes up. Her last MRI had been so unexpectedly NOT good. And, also on Wednesday, we received sad, sad news about a church family member who is also battling cancer, which broke my heart and brought me to tears. Who was I to expect that WE would hear wonderful news when this family was suffering so much?? It seemed foolish to think that, just like that, the tumor would be gone. I really could not bring myself to get my hopes up. I just couldn't, no matter how much I wanted to be positive.

Well, friends, you know what? God is awesome and amazing. And God has a perfect plan. And thankfully, it doesn't matter what we think is possible or foolish to hope, or how pessimistic or guarded we may be when it comes to our expectations.

On Thursday morning, when I knew my mom was at her follow-up appointment seeing the results of that all-important MRI, right when I thought I couldn't stand another minute of waiting, I got a text message from my sister Lydia. It contained only five words. But I had never received a more wonderful text message.

"mom's tumor is completely gone!!!!"

How do I describe the moment when I read that? It was... amazing. Tears of joy sprang to my eyes, and all I could think was "thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you, Lord!!" I was literally shaking with relief. It wasn't until I read those words that I realized how much I really and truly had not been expecting those wonderful results, because it left me breathless. I know, this all sounds rather overly dramatic, but I want to remember it, remember what it was like. When someone you love is going through something like what my mom experienced, it is always with you. There, always on your mind, waiting to fill your thoughts and make you worried and sad even when you're trying your best not to dwell on it, but to simply trust God no matter what. And then, just like that, for the first time since December 5, that Saturday night when this all started, the weight had been lifted. Gone. I wanted to fly and sing and dance and hug someone while jumping up and down.

It was such a joy, such an amazing thing, to be able to call and text and tell those closest to me the good news-- there was much rejoicing. I spoke with my dad, and of course my mom, and there was a lightness and joy in our voices. I'm pretty sure we all smiled non-stop all day long. I know I did!

I pray with all my heart that my mom and dad, my sisters, and my brother can enjoy this new season of peace and rest after all the turmoil of these past months. I know they need it. We all do.

My family and I were so incredibly blessed by all those who prayed continuously every day for Mom, for all of us. Our prayer warriors. And this includes all of you. There is no way to really tell you what the support and love you've all shown to me and my loved ones has meant, how it has brightened and beamed sunshine into some of the darkest corners within this experience. I am humbled, and grateful beyond what my fingers can type.

If you could keep the prayers coming, that would be wonderful. Lymphomas do have a nasty tendency of coming back; and quite often, if they do, they are bigger and harder to treat than the first time. We are hopeful, and optimistic, that with all of the things my mom is doing to keep herself healthy and of course by God's grace, her cancer will stay gone. There's no way to know for sure except with time. We don't know if this journey is over for good or not... we'll pray each day that it IS.

For now, we'll simply be glad and rejoice in the way things are right now. I am happy. I am grateful. For now, my mom is ok. She's ok!!

A sweet friend shared this song with me after I posted the good news on facebook, and I thought it was so perfect, so rich and sweet and true.

The Healing Hand of God, by Jeremy Camp
I have seen the many faces,
I fear in the pain.
I have watched the tears fall plenty,
From heart ache and strength.
So if life's journey,
Has you weary and afraid.
There's rest in the shadow of his wings.
I have walked through the valleys,
The mountains and plains.
I have held the hand of freedom,
It washes all my stains.
If you feel the weight of many trials,
And burdens from this world.
There's freedom in the shelter of the Lord.
I have seen,
The healing hand of God,
Reaching out and mending broken hearts.
Taste and see the fullness of His peace,
And hold on to what's being held out.
The healing hand of God.

Sweet friends, if you could think to pray for the ones who did not receive good news on Wednesday, that would be great. Her name is Melanie, and she may not have long left to live. The bitter and the sweet so often come together, and my heart breaks for her and her family even while I rejoice with mine. This amazing woman and her loved ones will need all the prayers they can get. Thank you, as always.


Stephanie B said...

I am so happy for you and your family - God is so merciful. It is amazing, I just started reading your blog and had no idea about your mom. I related so much to this post - my other was diagnosed with ovarian cancer late last year. While my mother's cancer will never be gone, the Lord has blessed her with good news along the way. The feeling of getting that good news is indescribable. Just like you mentioned in your post, I will never forget the sound of my dad's voice when he gave us some good news a few months don't realize how heavy someone's voice has been until you get to hear is full of joy!

I will also remember Melanie in my prayers. Will you remember a man from my church named Eldon in yours? He just got very tragic cancer news this past week.

Thank you and God bless!

Megan said...

Oh my goodness. I am having my own praise and worship session over this right here in my living room!! Again! The news just NEVER gets old. I am, to say the least, OVERJOYED for your Mom and everyone emotionally invested in your Mom's precious life! Our God is great, and greatly to be praised- and boy, has this reminded me of that. When we left my Mom's recent appt with the amazing news of "ALL IS CLEAR!" that Jeremy Camp song came on KLUV as we drove away from Mercy Southwest, and we all burst into tears lol. Oh, I am so happy! Thank you for sharing your journey with us!

alyssa said...

SO happy for you and your family! What a relief!!! :) & how adorable is this photo of you, who took it and WHERE? I love it!

Misty said...

thats amazing! I am really, REALLY happy for your family!

Kourtni said...

Even though I knew this already and we've praised God and celebrated together... reading this gave me chills all over and made me tear up. I am just SO HAPPY for you and for your mom and for your family... and God is absolutely faithful and worthy to be praised!!!!!! Love you!!!!!

Sara said...

crying tears of joy with you. You are not being dramatic. You are being REAL.

Susan Baldwin said...

Oh Talia - Megan said there was good news. I am rejoicing with you! :*)
Though we trust God and His sovereignty, it's hard to describe the fear of waiting for medical test results such as these. What wonderful, wonderful news for your mom and for all of you. When God heals physically, it seems He heals emotions and hearts too -what a gift from the cross.
And I will pray for Melanie, and for her family.
Thank you for sharing your heart -
Susan Baldwin

Sunny said...

Talia, what beautiful words! Praise God for this awesome news! Thank you for sharing your heart with us. We will be praying that your mom is cancer free in the years to come. We've been praying for Melanie and her dear family.

the lady of the house said...

Ahhh that is wonderful sweety! I've been wondering about her.

I will surely pray for Melanie and her family.

Take Care, The Lady of the House

p.s. your pic at the top was perfect.

mercedes said...

This brought tears to my eyes! How wonderful! Our God is an AWESOME God! His timing, ways and understanding no one can fathom - but they are always perfect. I will be praying for Melanie and her family. God Bless, and I love your blog! <3

Lydia said...

yay yay yay yay!!!!
It could not have been better! And it was wonderful to be able to bring that news to grandma when we went last friday. There were were many tears of joy shed!
Praise God.

Melanie and her family are constantly in my prayers. Heartbreaking.

sarah marie p said...

Hurray Talia! Yay! This is SUCH wonderful news! The best news! So, so happy for you and your family! Seeing that text must have been the best moment ever! Thanks for sharing your mom's story with us.

And yes, that picture is TOO adorable! Love it! You are the cutest! That top is too pretty! Love the bright plaid!

i'm lindsey. said...

oh talia!!!!!!!!!!
i can hardly put into words how happy i am for your family :)
we were back in sutton this weekend, and i shared this amazing news at my party friday night with my aunts, they were so excited!!! and rev. kingswood said a prayer of thanksgiving for this wondeful news!!!!!!!
so yes, you truly DID have prayer warriors all over the country!!!!!!!!!
i can't imagine the weight that must be lifted, AMEN!!!!
you were so inspirational through the last 6 months- truly praising Him in the storm.


Sharon said...

Cancer is such a devastating disease. My grandfather died from brain cancer when I was little. I was so sad to hear that your mom had it. But I am so, so happy to hear that all is clear for now. We will pray that it will continue to be so.

Sarah said...

I am so happy for your family. There are no words. Huuuugs!

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Anna said...

That is such great news! I am so glad to hear this.

Elizabeth said...

That is very wonderful news, praise God!!!

.jimaie.marie. said...

My heart is so so SO happy that you and your family recieved this AMAZING news. I just can't even fathom the amount of joy you must've felt when you read that text!!
It's funny, when you've grown up in church you hear over and over how wonderful and awesome our God is and we KNOW he is but until you experience a true miracle like this within your own life, I think you never really and truly understand the depths of his love and power!
I will continue to pray for your precious family every time I see your christmas card on my fridge, and be reminded that we do in fact, serve a mighty God :D